Why confidence doesn't always come easily. And 'Learn from our mistakes' with presenter, influencer and sustainability advocate, Bianca Foley.

‘Learn from our mistakes’ is a series where I ask impressive women about their working lives, posing the question: “what would you do differently if you could start again?”

Bianca has grown her podcast and platform Sustainably Influenced over the last four years, tackling important, current news around sustainability and how people can make more ethical choices in their day-to-day lives. This was one of the first (if not the very first) podcasts I was interviewed on, and we hit it off immediately. 

What’s interesting for me about Bianca’s answer is that she radiates confidence. If someone asked me, who are the most confident people I know are, I would honestly think of Bianca. Not only is she an accomplished podcaster, creator, columnist for Eliza and TV presenter on The Gadget Show, she’s always the one putting everyone at ease in social situations, engaging them with her naturally kind yet assertive manner. Bianca told me:

If I could have done one thing differently in my career, it would have been to have more confidence in myself. When I was in full time employment, I spent years questioning if I was good enough, staying loyal to one company and never progressing.  I should have more belief in my abilities - the same applies to my current self-employment life! I know I have the skills but don't always believe in myself. The next 6 months I am challenging myself to be bold and believe in myself!

I think we could all benefit from being a bit bolder and having more self-belief.

Something that consistently comes up in the conversations I have with females running businesses, is that we all regularly experience a crisis of confidence. I wonder, do men get these feelings to the same extent? I’m looking at my husband (because he’s literally sat opposite me as I’m writing this) and I’m thinking, does he ever doubt himself in the way that I do? I’m not saying he’s emotionally inept - he gets stressed or angry or upset just like anyone else - but I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation where he’s told me that he’s doubting his own abilities. Technically, he’s not a founder, he’s a creative director (and I handle most of the day-to-day aspects of running our businesses), but I don’t think that’s why he doesn’t experience regular self-doubt. I think it might have something to do with genetics, rather than circumstance.

If someone annoys me in a professional environment, whether I’m right or wrong, and I say something, that comment will stick with me for weeks. I’ll replay the conversation over and over, questioning if I was justified/kind/fair/many other qualities. And it’s tiring. I wish I could be thicker-skinned because, on that one occasion where I have stood up for myself, the mental fallout for me generally wasn’t worth it. Which is why, more often than not, as much as I admire people for saying their piece, for me, it’s usually better to keep quiet.