Whilst I absolutely accept these are par for the course, it doesn’t mean I enjoy them.
Telling people off. Sometimes, you react in the moment, because something has happened that just can’t for the business to run smoothly. Sometimes, you have a repeat occurrence, and have to let someone know that something can’t carry on in that way. Whatever the circumstance, I absolutely cannot stand having to tell people off. I do it, because it has to be done. But, I feel very unsettled in either scenario in the lead up, and usually afterwards, when something has to be said and ultimately, it’s my job to be the one to say it. I do feel constructive feedback is critical for development, whether that’s a business or person you work with, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy delivering it.
Saying no to people. I would say that 99.9% of the time, I say yes. Whatever the request, I’ll always say yes and worry about it later. That might mean some more ‘challenging’ days or weeks, but I just prefer to say yes unless it means it absolutely has to be a no. When I have to deliver that no, I really can’t stand issuing it. I also feel guilty sometimes when my yes might be positive for one, and negative for others. Accepting you can’t always get it right is vital.
Feeling lonely. It can be isolating being in charge. Ultimately it’s your job to keep morale up, keep on top of everything, and be there to make everyone feel safe and secure. That can be lonely, as sometimes you’re the one who needs a morale boost, less work and some reassurance.
These on the other hand, are some of the best bits
Seeing people flourish and grow. Sometimes someone will come and work with you and their confidence has been knocked. People have been too critical or circumstances haven’t allowed for them to up-skill enough to do a good job - whatever the reason - it’s the best when you see someone grow in confidence and self belief.
No performance reviews. Whilst I’m lucky that I’ve never had to deliver a bad review to someone else at work, I appreciate that for some, the apprehension of what will be said is horrible. The team joked with me this week that I’m lucky I don’t have to have reviews (I did offer them the chance to give me one), but it got me thinking, that it does feel quite nice to have reached a peak in my career where I don’t need to put myself forward for regular critique (however constructive).
Flexibility. Whilst I do have to work a lot, I also like the fact that I can opt out. Of course, there are times when it’s essential I am working, but generally, I can take time off last minute and to suit my own agenda. Whether that’s being with my sons, or… to be honest I only really ever take it off to look after my sons, but nonetheless, I’m happy that I don’t have to book time off way in advance or ask someone else’s permission. That is definitely a perk to being my own boss.
[Image credit: still catfishing with the 2020 shoot, still wearing the same outfit]