The Failings of a Female Founder

An introduction.

I get asked all the time, how do I do it all? How do I make it work? And I want to say, I’m not. I don’t. It’s a shambles. Yes I am doing ‘it’ or ‘getting shit done’ (which is how I usually describe ‘it’). But, most of the time it feels like I’m failing. With two kids and two businesses, I’ve learnt a lot over the last few years and here I want to share my unfiltered thoughts, feelings and experiences of not bossing it, not winning at parenthood and generally just not feeling like I’m doing a good all round job. You might pick up a tip or two, or at least you might feel like you’re not the only one whose life isn’t all glossy Instagram pictures and inspirational LinkedIn posts. Occasionally I’ll indulge in those two too. I’m letting you know so you don’t think I’m a hypocrite. 

I don’t work out, I don’t eat properly. I do like myself though, I am kind (this isn’t all doom and gloom). I don’t prioritise myself and on the rare occasion I do, I feel bad for it. 

What’s the best advice I can give you if you’re thinking of starting a business? Make sure you’re ok with working all the time. I mean all the time. Every day, evenings, weekends, you’ll have to give up all your time and then, even then, it might not feel like you’re doing enough. Plus, you might not be rewarded for all that effort. I don’t think that’s for everyone (and understandably so). So figure out if that’s really what you want to save yourself a lot of aggravation. 

What’s the best advice I can give you if you want to have a family and run a business? Don’t. No I’m joking. Get yourself a ‘doesband’ (not my invention but it means a husband who does everything). I’m also semi joking about that. Some of my friends have fertility issues, and I really am very aware what a gift my children are. So it’s complex. Sometimes when I don’t prioritise them, because I’m supporting our life with work, I feel fine about that. I feel justified. But I’m also aware that I want to soak up every moment with them. They’re also my happy place and I’m lucky, because no matter how upset I feel about something work related, I can’t be sad around them. They are joy personified.

Now all of this feels quite self-indulgent, but I guess that’s ok. You don’t have to read it, and I think I’m going to enjoy writing it. So maybe this is a space where I can prioritise myself.