The boss needs validation too you know

Where to find leadership affirmation and personal feedback as senior management.

I’m not ashamed to say that I love writing this and therefore I want to grow my following. I regularly read articles on “how to grow on Substack”, and one of the common takeaways is: just write. Write more freely, more frequently, and engage with the community. So here goes - a more random ramble I dare say… 

I find myself in a strange space: I get one new subscriber a day (with thousands of readers a month), and while that’s something, it doesn’t feel like enough. I’m conflicted. If someone came up to me in the street daily and said “I like what you write, I like it enough to subscribe so it comes directly into my inbox” (which is flattering in itself, considering most of us don’t think ‘I need more emails’), I’d feel happy. But the fact that I've been on the platform for a year, and don’t seem to be skyrocketing with my growth, like some of my peers, bothers me. 

It’s not just Substack validation I crave, I need it everywhere. I believe constructive and regular feedback is essential for people’s continued morale and development in the workplace.  But as the boss, where do you look for that? When you’re in charge, you don’t have a direct source of leadership affirmation. You don’t have a review process, with KPIs set and a path to promotion. The buck stops with you, so your personal benchmarks must come from… you. 

So how do you get personal validation without just walking around in a completely arrogant bubble thinking you are the best and know better? It’s a balance of being self-aware, not self-critical.

Here are five ways that I find validation: 

Team engagement and satisfaction

As the saying goes, you're only as happy as your unhappiest child, and it’s like that with my team too. So to achieve leadership affirmation, it’s important I take the time to regularly connect with my team on a real and personable level, ensuring everyone is ok, and therefore, so am I. 

Client impact

If we deliver positive and impactful work for our clients (which we usually do, sorry not sorry to toot the old horn), then that’s validating, and I get a great deal of fulfilment from that. 

Self-development

Pushing myself out of my comfort zone by saying yes to things that make me feel awkward. Like speaker opportunities - I know I have something to say, but I’d always created a narrative around myself, that I wasn’t good at presenting, so it’s hard to adapt my longstanding thought process on that. 

Mentoring and having a network of peers

Networking is essential to success. Having a group to rely on for advice not only saves time but also builds confidence and can help with leadership affirmation, as these are people experiencing the same things as you, and can you all benefit from each others guidance.

Asking for validation

Not to sound too needy, but sometimes you just have to ask for what you need. Requesting leadership feedback might not come naturally in a top position, but being vulnerable, and showing that you’re a human, can pay off. Driving a bond and creating relationships on a more meaningful level. 

How do you guys in senior management get validation? I’d love to hear your thoughts – especially as a self-confessed “needy” individual. Open to all the advice! 

Side note, I couldn’t not share this… I wrote this piece to go out, but also had a work event scheduled for Sunday and so was waylaid in copy checking and sending. Anyway, on Sunday at the awards ceremony for BABTAC (British Association of Beauty Therapy & Cosmetology), its CEO, the wonderful Lesley Blair MBE, presented me with an unexpected public thank you, and you can see by the look on my face, how much recognition can have an impact. Just saying…